Its a New Year, Time to Get That Sparkle Back

by Anne Marie Esposito, President and Founder, Sparklefly Candle Company, Inc.

The start of a new year brings with it all kinds of hope. Hope for a new beginning, a fresh start, a rebirth, a new you, a new career, a new love. For me, the new year is time for me to put some new ideas (actually some old ones too) into action and GET MY SPARKLE BACK. 

This is a personal blog for me, but I wanted to share it in case any of you or someone you know are going through something similar; maybe it could give you hope, too. 

You see, the past few years have been both extremely joyful and terribly life changing. I've been through much personal heartache, but at the same time, I have grown and experienced many personal achievements. A few months ago, I was discussing this with my fellow Indie group and one member asked me if I had lost my Sparkle. I thought about that question and I was afraid that, yes, maybe it had dimmed. Maybe I was allowing the tragedies to overcome all of the good that I had. She suggested I watch Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. If you ever have the time, I HIGHLY recommend. It is a dreamer's movie and we should all be dreamers. I promised her I would and life went on. It was a gloriously busy holiday season, I was doing what I love but I was also losing more of my Sparkle along the way. I couldn't put my finger on it but I pushed on. Until one day, it pushed back. I FELT SICK, sicker than I had ever felt in my life. It was time. Time to face this darkness and bring light into my world again. I reached out to my friends, my family and myself for help and they showed me ...

*Photo taken from the Alzheimer's Awareness Facebook Page

Oh, how much truth in that one sentence. I had lost faith in me because I had the belief that I had to BE everything to everyone, FOR everyone. I had to be strong, take it all on, do it all right and

- be the rock. What I really needed was to slow down, accept what was happening, believe in myself again, trust myself, BE GOOD TO MYSELF and most of all understand that I CAN do ANYTHING but I don't have to do EVERYTHING.

*Photo taken from the PostPlanner Facebook Page

I wanted a quick fix, I wanted someone to give me the answer on how to get my Sparkle back, how do I change my thinking, how do I let go? But your life's journey is yours and yours alone. YOU have to seek out the answers. YOU have to do the work. You have to take the time to work on you. And I am.

*Quote taken from the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

I flipped on the TV, took my wise friend's advice and watched that inspiring movie. She had lost her Sparkle too and it was preventing her from seeing all of the wonders around her. I DID NOT want to miss my life any longer than I had been and it had not been long at all but EVERY day you are not living, you are dying. These words above touched me deeply. I was ready to start celebrating life again.

Quote from Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

YES, YES it is! I stopped.

I stopped being so hard on myself. I stopped being so hard on others too. I stopped focusing on darkness and started searching for the light. I just stopped. Oh, and it's not that easy to stop. It's a daily, hourly, minute by minute decision. 

I find what is helping me most is talking about it; sharing it instead of hiding it. Letting it flow, instead of holding it in. Oh. and yes, YES, breathing. Meditation. Clearing my mind and calming my thoughts. Stepping away from the world and being at peace with myself.

*Photo taken from the PostPlanner Facebook Page

For me, it's all about baby steps, HEY, Rome wasn't built in a day, right? I cannot expect myself to accept these changes overnight. I have to allow myself to achieve each triumph and celebrate that I am coming that much closer to the life I want again. Each day, I take something that I think I cannot do (like share this with you) and I DO IT. Sometimes, I achieve something fantastic. Sometimes I fail a bit, but each time brings me closer to my goal.

*Photo taken from the PostPlanner Facebook Page

Pretty much speaks for itself, right? How can I expect to grow and learn from all that I have been through and face what tomorrow brings if I do not continue to challenge myself to do what I NEED to do in the present; to simply BE present. Not to live in the past. Not to think about everything that has to be done in the future but to do what is necessary to train my mind to BE IN THE NOW. Enjoy the moment I am experiencing AT the moment.

This year I will be stronger; stronger in the knowledge that I can do anything, but I don't have to do everything. I will be braver; braver in facing my shortcomings, but with an accepting and loving heart. I will be kinder; kinder to me and in doing so, show kindness to the world around me. I will be unstoppable; I will not let up, I will keep taking steps to live the life I am worthy of living. I will be fierce; fiercely rising to the occasion of life. 

Thank you for letting me share this experience with you.  

This blog is dedicated to my family and friends that have helped me through and have brought me to the other side.  I love you!  Now let's kick some BUTT in 2015.